I’ve been gone for a while but now I’m back. I survived the wedding planning and got back to work after the wedding. We didn’t go on our honeymoon because my husband was in the middle of a job transition, so we’re going to hold off for another year.
Anyway, I’ll get into my actual purpose of writing today – to share updates about a virtual event I just hosted. I was hesitant about hosting it because it was my first virtual event without a business name to lean on. It was only me. I promised myself over the summer that I would venture out on my own and create something in my own name. I’ve spent a long time hiding under other people or hiding in the shadows. I gave myself until October to get it done. I created two presentations but ended up going with a self-care overview with a twist.
I decided to host Self-Care Beyond Sunday for several reasons. The first being that I needed a reminder with all that I have going on in my life. Another reason was because I’m all for the soft life era that Black women are promoting. We don’t have to be tough and strong all the time. Being tough and strong both have their places in our lives but being hypervigilant all the time is exhausting. Sis stays tired. I also noticed that in the past, self-care was reserved for certain days and they were usually Saturdays or Sundays. I wanted to empower people to think about and incorporate daily self-care practices.
Self-care doesn’t always have to be spa days or vacations. Self-care can be as simple as staying hydrated or moisturizing your skin. It can be taking a walk around the block from your home or having a private dance party. It’s whatever makes you feel good so that you’re able to take a moment to care for yourself. What good are we to others if we’re not caring for, and being kind, to ourselves?
Self-Care Beyond Sunday explored three points including why we practice self-care, setting boundaries, and building a support system. I decided to do the three points because self-care does require thought and action. For the first part, we explored self-care and why it’s important. Not only does it make us feel good, but there are health benefits to self-care. WHO (the World Health Organization) has guidelines focused on self-care to help increase health outcomes that’s worth checking out. We also explored seven principles of self-care to remind us what self-care is and to serve as a catalyst to get us practicing more often. One thing I made sure to highlight included the opposite of self-care including self-neglect, self-sacrifice, and self-harm. We can’t be superhuman all the time and that’s why it’s important to incorporate self-care.
The next point I discussed was setting boundaries. Boundaries and self-care go together like peanut butter and jelly. They can be useful alone but they’re better together. Let’s take a couple of types of boundaries and how they can impact self-care. One boundary we can set is time – thinking about where we spend our time and with whom we spend it. If we don’t set a boundary with our time, we can end up depleted and have no time for those aspects of self-care that are important to us. Another boundary we can set is our relationship boundary which includes people’s treatment and expectations with us. If we’re expected to do and be for everyone else, it can be challenging to see self-care as an integral part of our lives. Rather than something we need and deserve, we may put the needs of others before our own and end up neglecting ourselves. The boundaries we set, practice, and continue to establish with others and ourselves can make or break our self-care practices.
The last point was our support system. While self-care is an individual practice, it is important that we have a strong, healthy support system to help us in many ways. That can range from being emotional support, helping out with caregiver responsibilities, engaging in uplifting activities, and to help us feel less alone. Our community, connections, and personal/professional support can be invaluable resources to help us lead healthy, happy lives. It’s great to have people who are there to encourage you to keep going, remind you to take a break, take care of family members so you can have a moment to yourself, and even be there for days when we feel less than ourselves.
All three of the points are key in helping us to maintain our health both mentally and physically. It’s important that we incorporate small practices so that we’re not waiting for one day a week to care for ourselves, but we can make an individual self-care plan for our needs and circumstances. There is no one size fits all approach to self-care.
If you would like support in creating a plan, head over to “Coaching Services” to set an appointment with me. Stay tuned for my upcoming presentation on Tuesday, November 15th titled, “Believe-HER: Challenging Dysfunctional Beliefs” – register on Eventbrite today!
Alishea Wynn 